Chores for kids: the benefits

I tend to be a bit wary when people start quoting psychologists, but there is a tremendous amount of wisdom in this article about children and chores.

http://www.nationalpost.com/life/story.html?id=3013642

Stepping up to responsibility…and freedoms

In our family of 7 we are constantly on the look-out for children who are read to “step-up” to new responsibilities,  including chores.  Making these “upward” transitions happen can be  hard work,  as they  involve much training, and more often than not they also involve  shuffling multiple responsibilities around. But it is well worth it in the long run.

Recently our eldest had a sleepover at her Nanna’s house, and the next morning her younger sister offered to do her job - which is emptying the dishwasher.  We jumped at the opportunity, and she showed us that she was capable of doing it.  And so, over the next few days everyone’s dish-related duties got shuffled around. At first this caused a bit of consternation (and the odd broken plate), but now the new routine seems to be ticking along quite nicely. Phew!

When you have a “win” these transitions can serve as a good guide as to where the child could be,  in terms of their freedoms.  When they demonstrate that they can carry out a new task, which requires greater responsibility, they may also be demonstrating their readiness to be given new freedoms.

It’s often “easier” for us to keep our children’s boundaries tighter than they need to be as it keeps us, the parents, “in control”. However the frustration that results for both the child and parent is unnecessary if we remember we are working towards the goal of maturing our children in Godly character, such as dependability and responsibility. After all, we can always bring the boundaries back in if the child is not ready for the new freedom!

New Chore Lists

 

I knew it was time to update the children's chore lists when I had our ten year old daughter asking to learn how to do the washing properly, our five year old begging to use the vacuum cleaner and the almost-two year old trying to "help" with everything and anything. Here a few suggestions, which helped us make the transition smoother:

• I have made new charts with cute graphics for the non-readers. One is for the morning, which will be kept in their bedrooms and one for the afternoon which is posted on the door of a cupboard in our living area so I can easily guide them to it.
• We now title the lists as “Child X’s Morning Responsibilities” etc as this reflects the positive attitude we want them to have towards the duties they need to do.
• I expect that any child assigned a new responsibility will need a period of time to learn the new skill before I can expect the task to be done to a reasonable standard. This requires my time, supervision and patience. However, I know it is worth it!
• I am now encouraging the child who previously held the responsibility for a certain task to be part of the “training team”. The kids have got a real kick out of helping each other learn new skills and it’s cute to watch them working together.
• While I have mostly bumped tasks down to the next child, certain kids have had to keep some tasks on their lists as they have not demonstrated that they can consistently complete the task to a standard that is acceptable. When I explained this to them I encouraged them that I am hoping that this will motivate them to demonstrate diligence in the areas they struggle.
• Generally the easiest tasks are assigned to the youngest and so on. When I think of a new job that needs doing I try to think of the youngest child able to do it so the older children are not over-burdened.
• Having five children able to participate in family chores I have had to plan more carefully where everyone is and what tools they will need. For the first time ever I had to make sure I hadn’t scheduled two children to vacuum at the same time!

I believe all children need to learn how to take care of the home they live in. It fosters diligence, responsibility and a sense of interdependence. As a general rule we all enjoy working together to keep our home clean and tidy. It’s so great for the kids to hear Daddy praise them for how tidy the home looks when he walks in the door!

Patrice