Book Review: Her Hand in Marriage by Douglas Wilson

We were asked recently if there are any good resources on biblical courtship, specifically for young men. Hence the number of courtship books and sermons that we have been ploughing through recently…and thanks to the Twiss family for lending us some. I have to admit that at this point I am yet to find anything specific to young men: if you have any thoughts let me know…we also need something more general which works for our Aussie culture.

Anyway, that leads us onto this book, which is Doug Wilson’s Her Hand in Marriage. It is a short book though it hits all the essential points that you would expect it to, in Doug’s trademark style. If I had one beef to pick with it, I would say that a few real-life examples would not have gone astray. There is a reasonable amount of material around about the theory of biblical courtship, but not enough stories of how families have actually gone about it. Not that we want to precisely copy the example of others , but it would be helpful to reflect upon their successes and mistakes. Nevertheless, it is a straight-forward book which is easy to read.

BTW, thanks to my Mum buying me this dvd for my birthday, I can tell you that the cover of this book features Vermeer’s “Girl Reading a Letter at an Open Window”. Maybe she is reading a letter from a suitor?

Last hurrah at Borders

When I was a little boy we would sometimes meet my father in the CBD after work, and he would take us to Haddons Bookshop which specialised in children’s books. A couple of years ago we started our own family tradition which was very similar: every now and then on a Saturday morning we would head into town, go to Borders for a coffee and then a wander around. Each child would be allowed to choose a book.

Last Saturday was the last hurrah for this family tradition, which will (hopefully) be remembered by at least some of the older children. Borders is closing down. Yes, even the big bookstores in Australia are now closing. The  trend which was depicted in this terrible movie has now come to an end, as a decline in reading and the shift to e-books seems to be taking a toll.

By way of consolation, we had Yum Cha after visiting Borders for the last time, and then managed to find a few absolute bargains in the State Library’s bookstore:

• “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever” – Barbara Robinson
• “The Icebound Land” – John Flanagan
• “The Capricorn Bracelet” – Rosemary Sutcliffe
• “In the Reign of Terror” – G.A. Henty
• “Manhunt” – James L. Swanson

The kids books are all 50c at this bookstore and a lot of them are in almost mint condition, apart from the library stickers, etc.

Steve

Book Review: Before you meet Prince Charming by Sarah Mally

This is a wonderful book written to encourage young women to live their lives with purity and integrity. Each chapter begins with an ongoing story of a fairytale princess and her longing to meet her own prince charming which makes it a particularly enjoyable book to read. I found it be a very thorough book covering the basics of guarding your heart, respecting parents, reserving yourself for one and more - but it maintains a lovely innocence, so I felt quite happy allowing our eldest daughter (almost 12) to read it all. I really appreciated the author’s detail in explaining how God expects a young lady to guard her mind and encourages her to consider a life purpose bigger than marriage.

Book Review: Free Range Kids by Lenore Skenazy

The subtitle of this book summarises it's content well:  “How to Raise Safe, Self-Reliant Children (Without Going Nuts with Worry)”. Skenazy challenges how much we, the parents, need to control our children’s environment in order to keep them safe; challenging the concept of “helicopter parenting”. The writing style is very easy to comprehend (something I appreciated in my sleep-deprived state) and she has plenty of thought-provoking real-life stories as well as plenty of humour.

The book is written in two parts; the first part outlines her ‘Fourteen Free-Range Commandments’ and the second addresses specifics concerns and statistics. My favourite of her ‘commandments’ was number eight, ‘Study History: Your Ten-Year-Old Would Have Been Forging Horseshoes (or at Least Delivering Papers)’. She contends that children are built to survive. Throughout human history kids and adults worked side by side, so your ability to perform a task rather than your age determined whether you could do it or not.  I also appreciated commandment ten, ‘Get Braver: Quit trying to Control Everything. It Doesn’t Work Anyway.’ As a bit of a control freak I really liked her reminder that if even if we manage to solve all of our children’s problems we are actually doing them a disservice, because we are taking away their real source of confidence and independence. She also claims that worry is another form of control - ouch!

The end of each chapter has some specific ideas about how to implement the principles in your own home ranging from simple ‘baby’ steps to ‘giant leaps’ and they have certainly provided me with some positive actions to put into practice. I was reminded that I should be proactive - teaching children the things they will need to survive such as bike safety, traffic signals and how to handle disappointment, as they are an inevitable part of life.

As with most books, I don’t agree with all her conclusions and some questions were raised in my mind about her statistics. She has a whole chapter about safety-concerns around Halloween, which is mostly irrelevant here in Australia, but I don’t agree with her premise that Halloween is a “harmless” childhood activity. She also has a brief discussion about teen s*x, quoting none other than Planned Parenthood advising parents to begin talks with your pre-teens using their “Abstinence Plus” approach. I don’t agree with her advise - let’s just leave it at that! My question about her statistics relate to those which demonstrate that crimes against children have declined since the early nineties. Is it possible that the drop in crime is related to the fact that we have been ‘sheltering’ our children more?

Those objections aside, I’d recommend this book as an interesting perspective on our safety-conscious culture. Her analysis of the media, particularly TV, was especially thought-provoking. It has reminded me that in my desire to protect my children I need to focus on the real dangers that will corrupt their minds and hearts.

Tolstoy on fathers, education and moral training

I love this scene from Anna Karenina, where Levin visits Lvov, and they get into a conversation about fatherhood, education, moral training and the role of religion. Lvov’s humility and commitment to the task at hand are an inspiration! 

"That's what I envy you, that you are able to mix in these interesting scientific circles," he said. And as he talked, he passed as usual into French, which was easier to him. "It's true I haven't the time for it. My official work and the children leave me no time; and then I'm not ashamed to own that my education has been too defective."

"That I don't believe," said Levin with a smile, feeling, as he always did, touched at Lvov's low opinion of himself, which was not in the least put on from a desire to seem or to be modest, but was absolutely sincere.

"Oh, yes, indeed! I feel now how badly educated I am. To educate my children I positively have to look up a great deal, and in fact simply to study myself. For it's not enough to have teachers, there must be someone to look after them, just as on your land you want laborers and an overseer. See what I'm reading"--he pointed to Buslaev's _Grammar_ on the desk--"it's expected of Misha, and it's so difficult.... Come, explain to me.... Here he says..."

Levin tried to explain to him that it couldn't be understood, but that it had to be taught; but Lvov would not agree with him.

"Oh, you're laughing at it!"

"On the contrary, you can't imagine how, when I look at you, I'm always learning the task that lies before me, that is the education of one's children."

"Well, there's nothing for you to learn," said Lvov.

"All I know," said Levin, "is that I have never seen better brought-up children than yours, and I wouldn't wish for children better than yours."

Lvov visibly tried to restrain the expression of his delight, but he was positively radiant with smiles.

"If only they're better than I! That's all I desire. You don't know yet all the work," he said, "with boys who've been left like mine to run wild abroad."

"You'll catch all that up. They're such clever children. The great thing is the education of character. That's what I learn when I look at your children."

"You talk of the education of character. You can't imagine how difficult that is! You have hardly succeeded in combating one tendency when others crop up, and the struggle begins again. If one had not a support in religion--you remember we talked about that--no father could bring children up relying on his own strength alone without that help."

This subject, which always interested Levin, was cut short by the entrance of the beauty Natalia Alexandrovna, dressed to go out.

Steve

Man Whisperer or True Woman?

In this post at Unlocking Feminity, Gabrielle Pickle writes a great review of a new book called The Man Whisperer, and explains the difference between a Man Whisperer and a True Woman:

The Man Whisper uses her femininity for her own gain to manipulate her man into acting like a man so she can have the relationship she always wanted.

True Womanhood uses her femininity to bring glory to God which in turn serves as a powerful call for men to rise up to be who God created them to be: masculine co-bearers of God’s glory.

http://unlockingfemininity.com/2011/02/01/man-whisperer-vs-true-woman/

Comic books right way to reach boys?

Barbara Kay’s argument that comic books are a good way to encouraging boys to read is an interesting one. We certainly don’t have any problem getting our eldest son to read comic books; the challenge is finding comic books that are suitable. Got any suggestions?

http://fullcomment.nationalpost.com/2010/07/22/barbara-kay-comic-books-right-way-to-reach-boys/

Volumes of academic success

It’s true, we are a bit obsessed with books in our house. I like the smell of them and the way they feel. I get a kick out of ‘rescuing’ a classic from the op-shop and giving it a place on the shelf, even if I know I may not get around to reading it for a couple of years. As homeschoolers we also implement some of Charlotte Mason’s theory, and therefore use a lot of “living books”. 

I’ve got no idea how many books we’ve got…do people really count them up? Anyhow, I found this interesting - a new study has found that children from households with 500 books were 33 per cent likelier to finish year 9 compared with those with none; they were 36 per cent likelier to graduate from high school; and 19 per cent likelier to complete university.

http://www.theaustralian.com.au/higher-education/volumes-of-academic-success/story-e6frgcjx-1225871261108

Book Review: Girl Talk by Carolyn Mahaney & Nicole Mahaney Whitacre

The subtitle of this book “Mother-Daughter Conversations on Biblical Womanhood” summarises the content well. I have read many excellent books about the responsibility that a mother has to pass on the legacy of biblical womanhood - what it means to be a Godly daughter, wife and mother- but this is the first one which is written for both mothers and daughters.

It is well written, with a familiarity that demonstrates the wonderful relationship that the authors, a  mother and daughter, have. They share many of their own examples and stories which made the  content very appealing to me (and I’m sure any pre-teen or teenage girl reading it) as it is realistic and  funny but thought-provoking at the same time.

The book is designed to be read by both the daughter and mother together (although not necessarily at the same time) with the intention of discussing the material together every chapter or two. They provide an appendix with discussion questions which are genuinely interesting and not too contrived. Although some chapters focus more on either the mother’s or the daughter’s role the authors encourage you to read all of the book together. I believe that this will be a useful training tool, preparing our daughters for the role they will one day, God willing, take as mothers and also encourage greater accountability (for me as the mother).

I’m looking forward to reading through this soon with our daughters!

4 constants in family bible study from Pastor Mark Driscoll

In this post on the Mars Hill blog, Pastor Mark Driscoll answers the question, “How can we better study the Bible with our spouses and children?”

http://blog.marshillchurch.org/2010/04/19/how-can-we-better-study-the-bible-with-our-spouses-and-children/

Book Review: The Legacy of Biblical Womanhood by Susan Hunt & Barbara Thompson

I was bought this book for Christmas by my dear husband Steve, as he likes to encourage me with books that can help me learn better how to put into practice the principles in God’s Word. I began reading rather arrogantly assuming that I may not be challenged or taught anything new; that it would most likely be more of what I had already read on this topic. But I was wrong, not only for my pride, but also for thinking that I have understood the full impact of God’s design for women. We have been wonderfully created to be helpers - to our husbands, family and community, and this book explains the importance of discipling women in the Biblical image of womanhood.

Mrs Hunt and Mrs Thompson begin the book with a discussion about how God intends the covenant community to be the culture in which we are equipped to live out the implications of our feminine design. I found this has given me a greater understanding of the grace and mercy of God in the helper design, which defines Biblical womanhood. I can see how the Gospel empowers and compels us to exercise our design. I was reminded again that we are called to pass on the legacy of Biblical womanhood - it is an inheritance that we must steward well and pass on to the next generation. This provides the basic framework for understanding why a “Titus 2-type” discipleship among women is so crucial.

Next they explore the glory of God’s goodness  and how we should demonstrate that in our covenant way of life. To glorify God, which is our primary purpose, we should reflect His mercy, grace, slowness to anger, steadfast love, faithfulness and forgiveness. Although, ultimately, Jesus is the full revelation of a life of God’s goodness, the example of Ruth and Naomi is explored because it demonstrates the relationships of daughter, sister, neighbour, wife, mother and pilgrim. The authors then explain how Ruth and Naomi demonstrate the principles and legacy of gratitude, unity, mercy, intimacy, life and fruitfulness and how to apply this example in our own lives and situations.

The most fascinating concept for me discussed in this book  is a covenantal philosophy of women’s ministry. As community and compassion should characterise our helper design and are characteristics of the covenant of grace it can give focus and definition to women’s ministry which should be a life-giving, supportive ministry. It should be designed to serve not only the women of the church but the whole church! Mrs Hunt and Mrs Thompson explain the core covenantal values for a women’s ministry and their application well but I hope to read more about this exciting Biblical principle.

Patrice